I am not sure if you have already received this email bout this cute kid who is being tortured by the father ( i think). The male voice orders the kid to be Mad then to be Happy. The kid obliges by making the necessary facial expression. It is cute and highly amusing but at the same time very disturbing. This calls to mind Eat Bulaga's little Ms Philippines where Aiza was made to change emotion with the wave of Vic's hand. This obviously made her really disturbed. Hellor, look at her now. BTW, do you know what happened to Lady Lee and Kathlyne Go Quieng (not sure of the spelling). They were the child wonders vying for the bibo kid spot together with Aiza. They even had a show in ABS before the defunct game show, Ready Get Set Go (starring Ogie Diaz, Carmina- still then with the now gay Rustom- and Eric Quizon, I think). Anyways, I'm digressing, here's the video of the Mad Happy kid who I am sure will grow up to be weird. Watch and enjoy the kid's first steps to weirdom.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Yosi, Perfume Scam and the Serial Parkist
When I moved to my new job, I have resolved to stop smoking. I am well aware of the dangers of nicotine to the SKIN and yes to the body but having close friends to smoke-jam-chismis with proved too much of a come on to resist. So every after a meal or when we feel like it, we go down (me, buffy and the I have yet to intoduce Ms Fi) to the parking lot to kill ourselves with one nicotine stick at a time.
Tonight before going for a smoke, Buffy forwarded to me an email that talked about the perfume scam. This according to the email is the latest modus operandi to hit our modus ridden metropolis. The scam is easy, innocen
t looking guys will approach you while parked in a gasoline station or a mall to ask what perfume you are wearing. They will then proceed to sales talk branded perfumes sold at ridiculously low prices. (Pinoys being inherently cheap - wants to smell expensive at a low price- will take the bait). They will ask you to smell the sample which will turn out to be 'ether' (substance that will make you lose conciousness). After passing out, they will take all your valuables - wallet, cp, etc. I dont know if this is true (the email has loopholes galore - where will they leave you after you pass out, how and why they are allowed to sell 'fake' perfumes inside a mall) but I just want to give a warning to my three readers.
t looking guys will approach you while parked in a gasoline station or a mall to ask what perfume you are wearing. They will then proceed to sales talk branded perfumes sold at ridiculously low prices. (Pinoys being inherently cheap - wants to smell expensive at a low price- will take the bait). They will ask you to smell the sample which will turn out to be 'ether' (substance that will make you lose conciousness). After passing out, they will take all your valuables - wallet, cp, etc. I dont know if this is true (the email has loopholes galore - where will they leave you after you pass out, how and why they are allowed to sell 'fake' perfumes inside a mall) but I just want to give a warning to my three readers.Incide
ntally, have I told you that Buffy is a serial parkist? He will park after coming to work and even if he is already parked, once he saw a more convenient parking space, he will go out and transfer to that space. He will transfer yet again once a more convenient space is freed. I totally understand his concerns, he wants to be out of the office as fast as possible, I just think it's hilarious. But you know what, I think I will be like that (and more) once I start driving. In which case, I will now be serial parkist 2, attack of the queer parkists. Hahahaha. Go Chuchubells.
ntally, have I told you that Buffy is a serial parkist? He will park after coming to work and even if he is already parked, once he saw a more convenient parking space, he will go out and transfer to that space. He will transfer yet again once a more convenient space is freed. I totally understand his concerns, he wants to be out of the office as fast as possible, I just think it's hilarious. But you know what, I think I will be like that (and more) once I start driving. In which case, I will now be serial parkist 2, attack of the queer parkists. Hahahaha. Go Chuchubells.Monday, April 21, 2008
Back to the Future
I have been in a funk a lately. I have been feeling extremely melancholic and utterly uninspired (see previous entry) that I think I might be heading to depression. When I am sad, I either shop (so gay I know) or I clean (gayer still) but because I am trying to save up for something, I decided to clean my room instead.
While cleaning my room, I stumbled upon a stack of old notes from way back when papemelroti was still cheap -not too long ago, thank you very much- and I saw innocuously hidden beneath the stack is my small brown journal. I still remember this journal from that period in my life when I was obsessed with love and the future. Yes people, it was college, 3rd to 4th year in fact (and yes I was still keeping a journal then, soo juvenile, yeah sue me like I care). I read thru the entries and between fits of embarrassment (I was so mushy) and maniacal laughter (I was so bratty), I realized that not much has changed for me. Of course, I have matured (yes, this is already mature for me) and I am less naïve, cuter with more disposable income (and fatter much to my dismay) but inside I am still that same old Lawrence. My interests are the same, (or just a derivative of a former interest) and my life is still stucked in that same old pattern. I go through stages of extreme happiness, giddiness, melancholy, and sadness-to-the-point-of-suicide-drama. I am like a frog stucked in an endless cycle of animation and hibernation.
A couple of entries in my old journal struck a chord. One was talking about an old crush and how I was so enamored by his smile and boyish ways (I was not yet out then so most of the entries used sexless pronouns) and one was how depressed I was and discontented with my life. Reading my old emotions is like having an out of body experience. Everything was so intense then; a simple glance from a crush can make me jump up and down in ecstasy while a simple fishball incident (a funny immature spat with a close friend) can cause my whole world to collapse. Back then I can feel a whole gamut of emotions. Unstable yes, but still enviable. I was living, breathing and absorbing life then with all the zeal and gusto of a child in Disney land. I was wide eyed ( still is – literally) and was ready for everything. Back then the entire world I know is the future, waiting for me with open arms and red flowers, ready to shower me with all the opportunities and happiness that will make up all 4 years of academic torture. The anticipation of the future and what the world has to offer me has made me live my life as if I am the principal character in a fairy tale perpetually waiting for that savior that is ready to save me and show how great the world is.
Fast forward to the now, and I know otherwise (yeah I know you know it too). I don’t want to go into a rant of how I think I am not supposed to be like this and how I feel I should be doing something especial by now, etc etc etc (unfortunately I still have yet to grow out of my megalomania). But I just have to wonder what has happened to have changed me from a wide eyed expectant teen to an apathetic mid twenty something (mid twenty daw eh).
I started off stating I was and is still the same as my 19 year old self but now I am thinking I may probably be a completely different person. It may be better or it could be not, I guess I would have to wait a couple of years to have another out of body experience to know the answer to this question, while reading the entries in this blog.
To end this all up I would like to quote my 19 year old closet drama queen self. This is from an entry that was talking about all my fears and hopes. My young and thin self says “ I feel like I am trapped in a very cheap and unwatchable pito pito movie. I am utterly helpless and my fate depends upon a motley crew of an untalented director, a neighborhood parlolista gay makeup artist and a penny-pinching producer”. This I can say was true then and I feel is still true now.
While cleaning my room, I stumbled upon a stack of old notes from way back when papemelroti was still cheap -not too long ago, thank you very much- and I saw innocuously hidden beneath the stack is my small brown journal. I still remember this journal from that period in my life when I was obsessed with love and the future. Yes people, it was college, 3rd to 4th year in fact (and yes I was still keeping a journal then, soo juvenile, yeah sue me like I care). I read thru the entries and between fits of embarrassment (I was so mushy) and maniacal laughter (I was so bratty), I realized that not much has changed for me. Of course, I have matured (yes, this is already mature for me) and I am less naïve, cuter with more disposable income (and fatter much to my dismay) but inside I am still that same old Lawrence. My interests are the same, (or just a derivative of a former interest) and my life is still stucked in that same old pattern. I go through stages of extreme happiness, giddiness, melancholy, and sadness-to-the-point-of-suicide-drama. I am like a frog stucked in an endless cycle of animation and hibernation.
A couple of entries in my old journal struck a chord. One was talking about an old crush and how I was so enamored by his smile and boyish ways (I was not yet out then so most of the entries used sexless pronouns) and one was how depressed I was and discontented with my life. Reading my old emotions is like having an out of body experience. Everything was so intense then; a simple glance from a crush can make me jump up and down in ecstasy while a simple fishball incident (a funny immature spat with a close friend) can cause my whole world to collapse. Back then I can feel a whole gamut of emotions. Unstable yes, but still enviable. I was living, breathing and absorbing life then with all the zeal and gusto of a child in Disney land. I was wide eyed ( still is – literally) and was ready for everything. Back then the entire world I know is the future, waiting for me with open arms and red flowers, ready to shower me with all the opportunities and happiness that will make up all 4 years of academic torture. The anticipation of the future and what the world has to offer me has made me live my life as if I am the principal character in a fairy tale perpetually waiting for that savior that is ready to save me and show how great the world is.
Fast forward to the now, and I know otherwise (yeah I know you know it too). I don’t want to go into a rant of how I think I am not supposed to be like this and how I feel I should be doing something especial by now, etc etc etc (unfortunately I still have yet to grow out of my megalomania). But I just have to wonder what has happened to have changed me from a wide eyed expectant teen to an apathetic mid twenty something (mid twenty daw eh).
I started off stating I was and is still the same as my 19 year old self but now I am thinking I may probably be a completely different person. It may be better or it could be not, I guess I would have to wait a couple of years to have another out of body experience to know the answer to this question, while reading the entries in this blog.
To end this all up I would like to quote my 19 year old closet drama queen self. This is from an entry that was talking about all my fears and hopes. My young and thin self says “ I feel like I am trapped in a very cheap and unwatchable pito pito movie. I am utterly helpless and my fate depends upon a motley crew of an untalented director, a neighborhood parlolista gay makeup artist and a penny-pinching producer”. This I can say was true then and I feel is still true now.
PS.
I would like to share a remarkably sad (or hilariously funny depending on whose reading it) passage from one of the poems I wrote when I was extremely infatuated with DD (that is what I use to call my crush). This poem was talking about and is titled ‘Unrequited’. (I know, I was and still is lacking in imagination)
It is a lonesome feeling,
Warm tears in your eyes,
Coldness in your face,
Coz you know the eyes don’t see
It so ludicrous
When the heart will remember
And the world will not
The feeling that you have
It’s an ugly feeling
Realizing you can’t have
The only thing that you want
Oh, unrequited love
Chaka….May “oh” pa talaga, Hahahahahaha.
PSS.I would like to give a shout out to my three readers, Dang Manok, Cherry Boobies and Kat Kikay. I know I forced you by subtly implying that I have a blog and by forwarding to you the link. Para sulit na you know you can also leave a note. Hahaha. Peace out.
Love, Sacrifice and All that Matters...
I have never been one to pay much attention to forwarded messages, I think they are a waste of time, money and much needed space in your phone (my new phone can only accomodate so much, not unlike the old P990i) but this particular forwarded message got to me. It talks about love and sacrifices. Let me just share it with you (yes Kat, I know kaw lang reader ko):
May tinanong ako, sabi ko:
"Tama bang isuko ang taong mahal ko dahil nalaman ko na hindi nya ako mahal."
Sabi nya:
"That is the best thing to do to save your pride, but that is the most thing if you want to save your life."
Sabi ko naman:
"Yeeeeees english! Pacheese burger ka naman! Burger! Burger!
Got you there. You thought it was something deep noh? That burger commercial is really clever. I think it captures the pasaway attitude of most of us. Me and my friends would have acted like that. Brats. Hahahaha.
Kakagutom...
May tinanong ako, sabi ko:
"Tama bang isuko ang taong mahal ko dahil nalaman ko na hindi nya ako mahal."
Sabi nya:
"That is the best thing to do to save your pride, but that is the most thing if you want to save your life."
Sabi ko naman:
"Yeeeeees english! Pacheese burger ka naman! Burger! Burger!
Got you there. You thought it was something deep noh? That burger commercial is really clever. I think it captures the pasaway attitude of most of us. Me and my friends would have acted like that. Brats. Hahahaha.
Kakagutom...
Friday, April 18, 2008
Uninspired - The Weekend Mode Disease
That is what I am for the last few days. Uninspired not in the romantic sense but uninspired in the I-dnt-knw-whts-wth-me sense. I have been going thru my usual routine like a zombie. I have been going to work, sleeping, going to the mall, eating and what have yous but I have been doing it with a pronounced lack of zeal. It is not like I don’t love my life, no, don’t get me wrong, I love where I am right now, I love what I am doing, I love my salary (ehehe), and I am getting my fill in the romance department. I just really don’t know wtf is wrong. I am hoping that this is just a bad case of the weekend-mode-come-early and that I will be able to shake it off come Monday.
In the meantime let me regal you (and mostly me) with stories from my office. Starting this blog, I will come up with funny/amusing/corny stories from our office. Characters will definitely be masked to protect their privacy (I know, its not like anybody is reading this). I am now going to introduce the characters that I deal with on a daily basis.
Characters:
Buffy – s/he is my beast-friend in the office who is your quintessential gym goer gay guy. S/he has been my mentor and is the ultimate flirt but is extremely funny and compassionate.
Linda – my annoying officemate who is wreaking havoc all over with her unending butt licking of the powers that be. This Linda is neither competent nor beautiful but still manages to get praises from the aforementioned butt licked bosses. I know every office is littered with this subspecies so you know what I am talking about.
My uninspired mode is getting the best of me. Heck it’s already Friday, there is no point in resisting it, it is pointless to fight it. I will just give in and continue my petiksness. I will continue introducing my officemates in the future. In the meantime I will go and surf till the time is ready for me to go home. Ahh, this is what you call work. =)
In the meantime let me regal you (and mostly me) with stories from my office. Starting this blog, I will come up with funny/amusing/corny stories from our office. Characters will definitely be masked to protect their privacy (I know, its not like anybody is reading this). I am now going to introduce the characters that I deal with on a daily basis.
Characters:
Buffy – s/he is my beast-friend in the office who is your quintessential gym goer gay guy. S/he has been my mentor and is the ultimate flirt but is extremely funny and compassionate.
Linda – my annoying officemate who is wreaking havoc all over with her unending butt licking of the powers that be. This Linda is neither competent nor beautiful but still manages to get praises from the aforementioned butt licked bosses. I know every office is littered with this subspecies so you know what I am talking about.
My uninspired mode is getting the best of me. Heck it’s already Friday, there is no point in resisting it, it is pointless to fight it. I will just give in and continue my petiksness. I will continue introducing my officemates in the future. In the meantime I will go and surf till the time is ready for me to go home. Ahh, this is what you call work. =)
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
101 Chuchubells
Ok, let me start by defining what Chuchubells is.
Chuchubells.
Chuchubells is everything and nothing. It is a swardspeak used as a substitute for words that you don't know. Like, when you launch in a diatribe about the importance of saving energy and suddenly you find you are at a lost for a word, just say "chuchubells". If you are talking to gay people then they will say , oh yeah. But if your audience is composed of straight uninformed people they will most probably draw a blank thereby buying you time to find the right word.
Chuchubells is a derivative of chorva which came from the word chika. They all mean the same - everything and nothing. An arbitrary word that can take on any meaning and can handily be used whenever you are suffering from verbal constipation and you don't know what to say. Please be advised though to use it sparingly to avoid being conceived as a visayan gay alien. You may use it in every sentence though in the company of moi. (or any other being with an IQ of 170 and above).
Now as to why I named this blog 101 chuchubells? Aside from I want to and I said so, well this will be a list of 101 "wisdoms", "light bulb moments", "realizations" "tips" and other chuchubells that I encounter in my everyday life. They are moments of intelligence that I would like to impart to my readers (mostly me - err I mean just me) They may or may not make any sense to some of you but hey, I am writing the blog so I will write what I want. =)
Now to start the list.
1.) Never read Jessica Zafra before going to sleep. If you are like me who read before sleeping to calm the mind, it is a big mistake to read her before snoozing. The lady is just soooo funny. She is so sarcatically funny, you think the word sarcasm was coined just for her. I am telling you, she will drive you nuts and instead of being calmed you will end up laughing maniacally that your mom will knock on your door asking if you are ok and that you are not having a bad dream. This lady reminds me of Janine Garofalo from that movie with Uma Thurman, The Truth about Cats and Dogs. And I also have a suspicion that, that cartoon character from that MTV show Daria was conceived after the creator saw/read/heard that multimedia triple threat and sleep robbing Jessica Zafra.
Numbers 2 to 101 will follow in the coming days.
Chuchubells.
Chuchubells is everything and nothing. It is a swardspeak used as a substitute for words that you don't know. Like, when you launch in a diatribe about the importance of saving energy and suddenly you find you are at a lost for a word, just say "chuchubells". If you are talking to gay people then they will say , oh yeah. But if your audience is composed of straight uninformed people they will most probably draw a blank thereby buying you time to find the right word.
Chuchubells is a derivative of chorva which came from the word chika. They all mean the same - everything and nothing. An arbitrary word that can take on any meaning and can handily be used whenever you are suffering from verbal constipation and you don't know what to say. Please be advised though to use it sparingly to avoid being conceived as a visayan gay alien. You may use it in every sentence though in the company of moi. (or any other being with an IQ of 170 and above).
Now as to why I named this blog 101 chuchubells? Aside from I want to and I said so, well this will be a list of 101 "wisdoms", "light bulb moments", "realizations" "tips" and other chuchubells that I encounter in my everyday life. They are moments of intelligence that I would like to impart to my readers (mostly me - err I mean just me) They may or may not make any sense to some of you but hey, I am writing the blog so I will write what I want. =)
Now to start the list.
1.) Never read Jessica Zafra before going to sleep. If you are like me who read before sleeping to calm the mind, it is a big mistake to read her before snoozing. The lady is just soooo funny. She is so sarcatically funny, you think the word sarcasm was coined just for her. I am telling you, she will drive you nuts and instead of being calmed you will end up laughing maniacally that your mom will knock on your door asking if you are ok and that you are not having a bad dream. This lady reminds me of Janine Garofalo from that movie with Uma Thurman, The Truth about Cats and Dogs. And I also have a suspicion that, that cartoon character from that MTV show Daria was conceived after the creator saw/read/heard that multimedia triple threat and sleep robbing Jessica Zafra.
Numbers 2 to 101 will follow in the coming days.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Fat and Evrything that's Bad
I have always wanted to be hunky- to have a good physique. No, I am not obese if that is what you are thinking; I am just not beach worthy (a nice way of saying your almost fat but not yet, just two slices of cake short of obesity). I have a fairly attractive face, a normal body and spanking hot attitude but I am not hunky. I went to the gym for two years but I gave up about a year ago after realizing that my body doesn’t like being subjected to the torture of bad muzak (never ending Olivia Newton John, Britney remix) with heavy breathing and sweat-a-palooza. Now, I have gained a substantial amount of fat although some people are saying I look better this way ( I know they are just being polite), I still don’t like it. All fats are concentrated in my waist area, making me look like a palengke vendor (beltbag galore). I can no longer wear my XXS shirts - which are a lot, and I have just gone shopping for gazillion jackets to hide my beltbags. I have now resulted to wearing those jackets even if it is scorching-ly hot. I miss wearing tight small white shirts in the mall.
Just because I am predisposed to hurting myself, I have below bullets comparing me during my thin days and me during my fat days:
Wardrobe
Not Beach Worthy
Medium – Large
Black. Dark Blue. Gothlike
32 waist
7 jackets
Thin
XXS
Brightly Colored Shirts and Whites. Lots and Lots of White.
28 waist
2 jackets
Activities
Not Beach Worthy
Mall
Mall
Thin
Beach
Badminton
Shucks, I can’t do this anymore (drama queen wail…)
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You might be asking where is the “…..and Everything that’s Bad” part. That’s too easy - getting fat. It is bad to be fat. Fats are bad. Very Bad.
PS.
While I am typing this, I am actually eating – fried chicken and rice plus chocolates. That is after eating cake and pasta and drinking Royal approximately, 1 hour and 45 minutes ago. Don’t be surprised if I update this blog to add another column but now with the heading – walrus.
Just because I am predisposed to hurting myself, I have below bullets comparing me during my thin days and me during my fat days:
Wardrobe
Not Beach Worthy
Medium – Large
Black. Dark Blue. Gothlike
32 waist
7 jackets
Thin
XXS
Brightly Colored Shirts and Whites. Lots and Lots of White.
28 waist
2 jackets
Activities
Not Beach Worthy
Mall
Mall
Thin
Beach
Badminton
Shucks, I can’t do this anymore (drama queen wail…)
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You might be asking where is the “…..and Everything that’s Bad” part. That’s too easy - getting fat. It is bad to be fat. Fats are bad. Very Bad.
PS.
While I am typing this, I am actually eating – fried chicken and rice plus chocolates. That is after eating cake and pasta and drinking Royal approximately, 1 hour and 45 minutes ago. Don’t be surprised if I update this blog to add another column but now with the heading – walrus.
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