Inane Faces

Eeeek

Christmas Party

Joyeux Noel

Conversation

Exchange of IM between two ex lovers:

L1: Buzz. Hndi mo na ako pinapansin. How are you?
L2: Sorry, busy with work and all. Still not coping. You?
L1: Was sick for the last three days.
L2: I bet you didn't go to the doc as usual. How are you feeling now.
L1: Yup. Nothing's changed here. Not even what I feel for you. Love you still.
L2: I love you too.

To be continued...

Commonly Confused Words Test

Saw this from Subtle Bliss' website. Try it. It's fun. How nerdy. Hahahaha

http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-commonly-confused-words-test

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 100% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test.

Must lists and Fragile Things

Fragile Things. Got a copy. Read the blurb. Me likey. Excited to start reading it. *Drool drool* Too busy to start though, big project and powers that be arriving. Stress already starting to creep in. I hate it when work gets in the way of entertainment.

Still depressed. Not much has changed. Tired of the single life already, too costly. Shopping too much these days. Bought lots of things, from mirrors to pants to shades to books to ballpens to notebooks to shirts to polos to undies to socks. Need to buy more though, must stop compulsion.

Esther comes knocking. Lonely Law is in the brink of opening the door. Must stop myself from opening the door, must buy new locks.

Thinking of transferring to this new site. Cooler layout, better themes. Must find time to evaluate.

Must work now, too much to do. Must stop petiks mode.

Life After Death

Heard while buying more Neil Gaiman books at Fully Booked.

Fully Booked Attendant One: Sana hindi totoo yun noh? Yung life after death. Tapos sa pagdating ng panahon, bubuhayin lahat ng patay. Paano na katawang tao nila, agnas na yun. Zombies pare.

Fully Booked Attendant Two: Pare hindi na bubuhayin ang katawang tao ng lahat ng nilalang. Basta sa huli daw kahit asawa mo, hindi mo na kilala. Hindi na kayo magkakakilala.

Fully Booked Attendant One: Magkita kayo tayo non? Kinikilabutan ako pare.

Creepy.

PS.

I can't find a copy of American Gods. Paging Ms Fi. =).

Incomplete

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know God And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Step No Step Yes

Should I stay or should I go...

Pinahihirapan ko lang ba ang sarili ko o desisyon ito para sa ikakasiya ng hinaharap ko.

I have got to shake it off...

Malungkot ang buhay na binubuo ng pansamantalang ligaya.

And I vow and I vow to be true...

Sana tama ang ginagawa ko. Tatawanan ko lang ito sa hinaharap. Matatawa ako.

Immunity

Like a patient getting his doses of antibodies I will subject myself to all the things that we used to do together. I will expose myself to all the places where we shared a lot of happy times in. I will spend time doing the things we did together, but now not as part of a “we” but “I” as “I”.

If you see me “emoting”, in the next few days, I ask that you please just ignore me. I most probably am having my moment, reminiscing… flushing out the toxins… developing immunity...

PS.

If you see me convulsing, crying or just breaking down please be a friend, approach me and say, "Aaay, artesta ang potah.". That should bring me back to my senses.

Neil Gaiman Therapy

These are the times of raw despondence as Alanis would say, and to beat the funk I suggest you follow my therapy. I am now in the midst of a Neil Gaiman Therapy. I plan on reading all his books to fill my time. I have already read Stardust and Anansi Boys (thanks Ms Fi). I am now reading Smokes and Mirrors and will buy over the weekend his other works. The guy's writing is akin to a summer blockbuster. It will not push you to think about existentialism nor will push you to question your religion but he will keep you entertained. He writes about events and action, imagine magical realities and absurd sequences. Think Haruki Murakami but in English and more surreal. I once read a description saying he is literature's rock star and I couldn't agree more.

PS.

My observation of him may change as I read more of his work but for now, I am still enjoying reading him and will remain steadfast in following my self prescribed therapy.

Moratorium

I just bought that new CD from Alanis M. I bought it bearing in mind that the CD was made after she broke up with Ryan Reynolds. I know that I will find lots of songs to relate in this CD. I am a very musical person and I am the kind that needs "themesongs". Very Ally, I know, very 90's. Anyhow, I am not going to write a review here, I am too biased. I like her too much. I would just like to share this phrase from the song Moratorium. It echoes my sentiments at the moment.

I declare a moratorium on things relationship
I declare a respite from the toils of liaison
I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement
I declare a full time out from all things commitment

Kung gusto nyo copy, burn-an ko kayo. Ehehehe. I am a pirate! =)

RIP

It was our mutual like for Sarah Michelle Gellar that brought us together. The movie was the “Return”, we bonded over the complete suckiness of the movie but still regarded Buffy with awe and butt-kicking wonder. We had dinner, called each other regularly; we met every single day after work.

It was December. We watched the Filmfest and hated every film that we saw but loved every single minute that we we’re together. Every waking hour was spent together, each night in our dreams we still see each other. Passion was feverishly high whenever we touch, Eurotel sure did earn a lot. =)

Fast forward one and half year of countless “galit-bati” moments later… And now we bury the moments that were and forget all the ifs that are to be. With a heavy heart and crippling sadness, we decided to end our journey together. Priorities have changed, views have been altered, and now at this crossroads we need to take our separate route, hoping that along the road ahead we will cross paths again and maybe will be ready to hop on the same coach together. More mature, more complete…

I enjoyed this roller coaster ride with you Dy. I am now ready to let go. Bye. I will see you later. =)

Lie To Me

Lie, while you’re even early.
Deny, that you’re in any hurry.
Cry, and tell me not to worry‘Cause what I don’t know, is never gonna hurt me

Breathe, now baby don’t feel guilty.
Deceive me, then just walk away.
Leave me, the truth will only kill me It’s gotta be, it’s gotta be this way

One more bad excuse, Before you turn me lose.
Give me something to remember you by, Couldn’t you offer me A little dishonesty?
Promise me you’ll try, You’ll lie to me

Go, your plane is not gonna stay.
Slow, so I can take it in
And so you say you’ll see me later, when you know you won’t see me again

Please before you let go of me.
Take me one more time.
Appease me, tell me that you love me that you haven’t gone and change your mind

One more bad excuse, before you turn me lose.
Give me something to remember you by.
Couldn’t you offer me a little dishonesty.
Promise me you’ll tryYou’ll lie to me.

Concerned Bossststststs

I love this company. The concern of the bosses is really heartwarming. It extends to more than just work; they will treat you like family, literally. You see, my yosi mate Ms Fi, is having some problems with her health. She's complaining about some stomachache and her boss found out about it. Naturally a boss, so as not to lose productivity will say go to the doctor or drink your meds and some other generic response to somebody suffering from any pain. The boss of course said these things, as expected, with some other comments plus a directive. Yup, a directive. She is soo concerned that she told Ms Fi, to 'quit smoking.' Yes, she was just mandated to stop smoking, of course, in a very nice motherly way. So heartwarming right. Just like a mom herding her sheep er I mean children.

The other day, we ordered from this nice small resto and Ms Fi's boss ordered a bit more than what she wanted, having seen that Ms Fi didn't order anything, she instinctively got a paper plate and poured food on it then gave it to Ms Fi. So cute, like a mom feeding her cattle, er I mean child. The scene looked so nice that my friend Buffy said, 'Ay Ms Fi, kulang na lang adoption papers'.

Now tell me, are your bossess as concerned as that?

Hunk Alert

This just in. Roda Manok, my fave officemate is betrothed. Peep the groom below: Yum yum.

Of Unending Work and Negative Retention

It has been almost one month since I last posted crap in this crappy page of mine. I have been extremely busy with an unending streme of client prospects, both new and old. Or more accurately, of old jobs trying to be new. I have been assigned a number of re-visits and re-pricing. Don't get me wrong, I like what I am doing, (its just in my nature to rant about things that I don't like) but lets face it, no matter how much you like what you are doing, you are bound to encounter numerous thorns in your rose-y worklife. Choosing to do the job than complaining (or while complaining as in my case) is what you call maturity. Right Roda Manok? =) Anyhow, in the blurry of the past month's hectic work schedule, I found out that while trying to internalize the past month's events, all I can recall are the bad things that happened to me. Call me negative or heck human but that’s all I can recall. I think I am suffering from what you call (I am patent to this phrase) Negative Retention. Your mind only archives the most annoying, most hideous actions/events. And due to my photographic negatively retentive memory, I am now going to share to you the 5 most ugly things I have encountered these past few weeks:

1.) Panas are the worst bosses/superiors, colleagues. What are panas? Go ask the fabulously-slang-Carins. But I just want to say that most of the anxiety (90%) of what I have experienced last month is because of a certain Pana that according to Dang looks like a movie villan. This Pana is so impossibly bossy and incredibly stupid that dealing with him is like being stucked in HS with all your stupid teachers and rowdy classmates, with matching "making sumbong to the principal". I am telling you, this Pana is one for the books. As in super.

2.) Linda (remember her from one of my old posts?), was just, uhmmm, moved. I am not sure if that's promotion but let me just say that Linda just proved the timeless and proven theory that Life is Unfair. It never was, It never will be. All we have working for us is karma. Hopefully, it rears its most welcome head one of these days. =)

3.) A new Pana is walking around the office, wait, I mean strutting around the office. This Pana with matching necessary pointing and shouting and bossing is so smelly that even if you are still in the first floor and he is in his office (2nd floor), you will know that he has already arrived. The stench is hideous. It's like being shoved inside a gigantic, old and smelly Kaypee shoes. I am so sure that Tita Maggie would have kicked him out of her shoe house had he went there to visit. Oh-my-gulay. He is so baho, I swear (using my most colegiala voice). This stench prompts my colleague to continually spray Lysol when the Pana is not looking. So funny.

4.) I have ridden all in one day the worst cab drivers in the universe. Going to work, this cabby who kept on trying to make small talk even if I am already evidently wearing a headset didn't want to make a u-turn under the fly over since according to him he is on his way to Ortigas. He just wants me to cross the dangerous road (walang tawiran, nakamamatay) to get to the office. He was not budging even If I was already raising my voice, so I just paid and walked but not before asking for my 2.50 change and not closing the door with matching dialogue of “Kung gusto nyo isang ruta lang kyo, sana jeep dinadrive nyo.” On my way home, I rode this cabby that farts like every 15 minutes. No it’s not the noisy one so I was not sure at first if he was really passing gas but I swear the smell was like putrid meat. At first I thought, the Pana smell clung to my shirt but I soon realized that this was different, like Malabanan was doing a job somewhere near you. It’s like sewer but more. I was so grossed out that before going down, I told the manong to go find a toilet or stop eating kamote.

5.) There is this person from my office that uses the ringtone Grow Old with You with matching talkies/dialogues lifted from the movie (you know like those Titanic clips before the song My Heart will go on will start). No there is nothing wrong with that, I actually like the song, but when you hear it every five minutes because he left his mobile in his desk to go pupu (I think), it gets to your nerves. I swear, it will go off every after five minutes after the landline rings and the other phone (thankfully with a midi ringtone) rings. And oh, I forgot, his txt msg alert tone is the voice of a kid singing and uhmm, it was recorded live.

Before I let you guys go and live your really exciting lives (yup, that’s for my three loyal readers), let me just introduce to you (as promised) my yosi buddy, Ms Fi. Ms Fi is not your typical officemate in that she is always quiet in her desk but when you go for yosi her quips will just crack you up. Also, Ms Fi sheds tears when drunk and uhmm, embraces-while-dancing-strangers. Ms Fi, is also a cool rock chick that watched Brandon and his band twice. =) And the other days, she spent 17 hrs in the office almost crying (without being drunk) before being let go off her boss, the usually kind, funny and adorable but gets-stressssssssssed- during-crunch-time-Ms-STSTSTSTSTS.

Mad Happy

I am not sure if you have already received this email bout this cute kid who is being tortured by the father ( i think). The male voice orders the kid to be Mad then to be Happy. The kid obliges by making the necessary facial expression. It is cute and highly amusing but at the same time very disturbing. This calls to mind Eat Bulaga's little Ms Philippines where Aiza was made to change emotion with the wave of Vic's hand. This obviously made her really disturbed. Hellor, look at her now. BTW, do you know what happened to Lady Lee and Kathlyne Go Quieng (not sure of the spelling). They were the child wonders vying for the bibo kid spot together with Aiza. They even had a show in ABS before the defunct game show, Ready Get Set Go (starring Ogie Diaz, Carmina- still then with the now gay Rustom- and Eric Quizon, I think). Anyways, I'm digressing, here's the video of the Mad Happy kid who I am sure will grow up to be weird. Watch and enjoy the kid's first steps to weirdom.

Yosi, Perfume Scam and the Serial Parkist

When I moved to my new job, I have resolved to stop smoking. I am well aware of the dangers of nicotine to the SKIN and yes to the body but having close friends to smoke-jam-chismis with proved too much of a come on to resist. So every after a meal or when we feel like it, we go down (me, buffy and the I have yet to intoduce Ms Fi) to the parking lot to kill ourselves with one nicotine stick at a time.

Tonight before going for a smoke, Buffy forwarded to me an email that talked about the perfume scam. This according to the email is the latest modus operandi to hit our modus ridden metropolis. The scam is easy, innocent looking guys will approach you while parked in a gasoline station or a mall to ask what perfume you are wearing. They will then proceed to sales talk branded perfumes sold at ridiculously low prices. (Pinoys being inherently cheap - wants to smell expensive at a low price- will take the bait). They will ask you to smell the sample which will turn out to be 'ether' (substance that will make you lose conciousness). After passing out, they will take all your valuables - wallet, cp, etc. I dont know if this is true (the email has loopholes galore - where will they leave you after you pass out, how and why they are allowed to sell 'fake' perfumes inside a mall) but I just want to give a warning to my three readers.

Incidentally, have I told you that Buffy is a serial parkist? He will park after coming to work and even if he is already parked, once he saw a more convenient parking space, he will go out and transfer to that space. He will transfer yet again once a more convenient space is freed. I totally understand his concerns, he wants to be out of the office as fast as possible, I just think it's hilarious. But you know what, I think I will be like that (and more) once I start driving. In which case, I will now be serial parkist 2, attack of the queer parkists. Hahahaha. Go Chuchubells.

Back to the Future

I have been in a funk a lately. I have been feeling extremely melancholic and utterly uninspired (see previous entry) that I think I might be heading to depression. When I am sad, I either shop (so gay I know) or I clean (gayer still) but because I am trying to save up for something, I decided to clean my room instead.
While cleaning my room, I stumbled upon a stack of old notes from way back when papemelroti was still cheap -not too long ago, thank you very much- and I saw innocuously hidden beneath the stack is my small brown journal. I still remember this journal from that period in my life when I was obsessed with love and the future. Yes people, it was college, 3rd to 4th year in fact (and yes I was still keeping a journal then, soo juvenile, yeah sue me like I care). I read thru the entries and between fits of embarrassment (I was so mushy) and maniacal laughter (I was so bratty), I realized that not much has changed for me. Of course, I have matured (yes, this is already mature for me) and I am less naïve, cuter with more disposable income (and fatter much to my dismay) but inside I am still that same old Lawrence. My interests are the same, (or just a derivative of a former interest) and my life is still stucked in that same old pattern. I go through stages of extreme happiness, giddiness, melancholy, and sadness-to-the-point-of-suicide-drama. I am like a frog stucked in an endless cycle of animation and hibernation.
A couple of entries in my old journal struck a chord. One was talking about an old crush and how I was so enamored by his smile and boyish ways (I was not yet out then so most of the entries used sexless pronouns) and one was how depressed I was and discontented with my life. Reading my old emotions is like having an out of body experience. Everything was so intense then; a simple glance from a crush can make me jump up and down in ecstasy while a simple fishball incident (a funny immature spat with a close friend) can cause my whole world to collapse. Back then I can feel a whole gamut of emotions. Unstable yes, but still enviable. I was living, breathing and absorbing life then with all the zeal and gusto of a child in Disney land. I was wide eyed ( still is – literally) and was ready for everything. Back then the entire world I know is the future, waiting for me with open arms and red flowers, ready to shower me with all the opportunities and happiness that will make up all 4 years of academic torture. The anticipation of the future and what the world has to offer me has made me live my life as if I am the principal character in a fairy tale perpetually waiting for that savior that is ready to save me and show how great the world is.
Fast forward to the now, and I know otherwise (yeah I know you know it too). I don’t want to go into a rant of how I think I am not supposed to be like this and how I feel I should be doing something especial by now, etc etc etc (unfortunately I still have yet to grow out of my megalomania). But I just have to wonder what has happened to have changed me from a wide eyed expectant teen to an apathetic mid twenty something (mid twenty daw eh).
I started off stating I was and is still the same as my 19 year old self but now I am thinking I may probably be a completely different person. It may be better or it could be not, I guess I would have to wait a couple of years to have another out of body experience to know the answer to this question, while reading the entries in this blog.
To end this all up I would like to quote my 19 year old closet drama queen self. This is from an entry that was talking about all my fears and hopes. My young and thin self says “ I feel like I am trapped in a very cheap and unwatchable pito pito movie. I am utterly helpless and my fate depends upon a motley crew of an untalented director, a neighborhood parlolista gay makeup artist and a penny-pinching producer”. This I can say was true then and I feel is still true now.

PS.
I would like to share a remarkably sad (or hilariously funny depending on whose reading it) passage from one of the poems I wrote when I was extremely infatuated with DD (that is what I use to call my crush). This poem was talking about and is titled ‘Unrequited’. (I know, I was and still is lacking in imagination)

It is a lonesome feeling,
Warm tears in your eyes,
Coldness in your face,
Coz you know the eyes don’t see

It so ludicrous
When the heart will remember
And the world will not
The feeling that you have

It’s an ugly feeling
Realizing you can’t have
The only thing that you want
Oh, unrequited love

Chaka….May “oh” pa talaga, Hahahahahaha.

PSS.I would like to give a shout out to my three readers, Dang Manok, Cherry Boobies and Kat Kikay. I know I forced you by subtly implying that I have a blog and by forwarding to you the link. Para sulit na you know you can also leave a note. Hahaha. Peace out.

Love, Sacrifice and All that Matters...

I have never been one to pay much attention to forwarded messages, I think they are a waste of time, money and much needed space in your phone (my new phone can only accomodate so much, not unlike the old P990i) but this particular forwarded message got to me. It talks about love and sacrifices. Let me just share it with you (yes Kat, I know kaw lang reader ko):



May tinanong ako, sabi ko:

"Tama bang isuko ang taong mahal ko dahil nalaman ko na hindi nya ako mahal."



Sabi nya:

"That is the best thing to do to save your pride, but that is the most thing if you want to save your life."



Sabi ko naman:

"Yeeeeees english! Pacheese burger ka naman! Burger! Burger!



Got you there. You thought it was something deep noh? That burger commercial is really clever. I think it captures the pasaway attitude of most of us. Me and my friends would have acted like that. Brats. Hahahaha.

Kakagutom...

Uninspired - The Weekend Mode Disease

That is what I am for the last few days. Uninspired not in the romantic sense but uninspired in the I-dnt-knw-whts-wth-me sense. I have been going thru my usual routine like a zombie. I have been going to work, sleeping, going to the mall, eating and what have yous but I have been doing it with a pronounced lack of zeal. It is not like I don’t love my life, no, don’t get me wrong, I love where I am right now, I love what I am doing, I love my salary (ehehe), and I am getting my fill in the romance department. I just really don’t know wtf is wrong. I am hoping that this is just a bad case of the weekend-mode-come-early and that I will be able to shake it off come Monday.

In the meantime let me regal you (and mostly me) with stories from my office. Starting this blog, I will come up with funny/amusing/corny stories from our office. Characters will definitely be masked to protect their privacy (I know, its not like anybody is reading this). I am now going to introduce the characters that I deal with on a daily basis.

Characters:

Buffy – s/he is my beast-friend in the office who is your quintessential gym goer gay guy. S/he has been my mentor and is the ultimate flirt but is extremely funny and compassionate.

Linda – my annoying officemate who is wreaking havoc all over with her unending butt licking of the powers that be. This Linda is neither competent nor beautiful but still manages to get praises from the aforementioned butt licked bosses. I know every office is littered with this subspecies so you know what I am talking about.

My uninspired mode is getting the best of me. Heck it’s already Friday, there is no point in resisting it, it is pointless to fight it. I will just give in and continue my petiksness. I will continue introducing my officemates in the future. In the meantime I will go and surf till the time is ready for me to go home. Ahh, this is what you call work. =)

101 Chuchubells

Ok, let me start by defining what Chuchubells is.

Chuchubells.

Chuchubells is everything and nothing. It is a swardspeak used as a substitute for words that you don't know. Like, when you launch in a diatribe about the importance of saving energy and suddenly you find you are at a lost for a word, just say "chuchubells". If you are talking to gay people then they will say , oh yeah. But if your audience is composed of straight uninformed people they will most probably draw a blank thereby buying you time to find the right word.

Chuchubells is a derivative of chorva which came from the word chika. They all mean the same - everything and nothing. An arbitrary word that can take on any meaning and can handily be used whenever you are suffering from verbal constipation and you don't know what to say. Please be advised though to use it sparingly to avoid being conceived as a visayan gay alien. You may use it in every sentence though in the company of moi. (or any other being with an IQ of 170 and above).

Now as to why I named this blog 101 chuchubells? Aside from I want to and I said so, well this will be a list of 101 "wisdoms", "light bulb moments", "realizations" "tips" and other chuchubells that I encounter in my everyday life. They are moments of intelligence that I would like to impart to my readers (mostly me - err I mean just me) They may or may not make any sense to some of you but hey, I am writing the blog so I will write what I want. =)

Now to start the list.

1.) Never read Jessica Zafra before going to sleep. If you are like me who read before sleeping to calm the mind, it is a big mistake to read her before snoozing. The lady is just soooo funny. She is so sarcatically funny, you think the word sarcasm was coined just for her. I am telling you, she will drive you nuts and instead of being calmed you will end up laughing maniacally that your mom will knock on your door asking if you are ok and that you are not having a bad dream. This lady reminds me of Janine Garofalo from that movie with Uma Thurman, The Truth about Cats and Dogs. And I also have a suspicion that, that cartoon character from that MTV show Daria was conceived after the creator saw/read/heard that multimedia triple threat and sleep robbing Jessica Zafra.

Numbers 2 to 101 will follow in the coming days.

Fat and Evrything that's Bad

I have always wanted to be hunky- to have a good physique. No, I am not obese if that is what you are thinking; I am just not beach worthy (a nice way of saying your almost fat but not yet, just two slices of cake short of obesity). I have a fairly attractive face, a normal body and spanking hot attitude but I am not hunky. I went to the gym for two years but I gave up about a year ago after realizing that my body doesn’t like being subjected to the torture of bad muzak (never ending Olivia Newton John, Britney remix) with heavy breathing and sweat-a-palooza. Now, I have gained a substantial amount of fat although some people are saying I look better this way ( I know they are just being polite), I still don’t like it. All fats are concentrated in my waist area, making me look like a palengke vendor (beltbag galore). I can no longer wear my XXS shirts - which are a lot, and I have just gone shopping for gazillion jackets to hide my beltbags. I have now resulted to wearing those jackets even if it is scorching-ly hot. I miss wearing tight small white shirts in the mall.

Just because I am predisposed to hurting myself, I have below bullets comparing me during my thin days and me during my fat days:

Wardrobe

Not Beach Worthy
Medium – Large
Black. Dark Blue. Gothlike
32 waist
7 jackets


Thin
XXS
Brightly Colored Shirts and Whites. Lots and Lots of White.
28 waist
2 jackets


Activities
Not Beach Worthy
Mall
Mall


Thin
Beach
Badminton

Shucks, I can’t do this anymore (drama queen wail…)

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You might be asking where is the “…..and Everything that’s Bad” part. That’s too easy - getting fat. It is bad to be fat. Fats are bad. Very Bad.


PS.
While I am typing this, I am actually eating – fried chicken and rice plus chocolates. That is after eating cake and pasta and drinking Royal approximately, 1 hour and 45 minutes ago. Don’t be surprised if I update this blog to add another column but now with the heading – walrus.